How Ace Attorney Helped Adjust the Way I Read Stories with ADHD and Save My Dwindling Love for Fiction
With ADHD, it’s always has been an absolute struggle to sit down and read any type of long-form material. Whether it be lengthy articles or novels, I had trouble reading and properly comprehending anything after I stopped my Vyvanse subscription. I never liked taking those pills; I was a shell of myself from the age of 9 to 14. My junior year of high school is when I took up writing as a career. Reading and writing go hand and hand. I was never that much of a reader before high school. I have no memory whatsoever of what my middle school library looked like.
During my efforts to start reading more, I noticed my incapability to focus even in the quietest of environments. My mental condition was something I had to remind myself of. Just because the second-grader who was bouncing around the classroom is no more doesn't mean my ADHD was erased. I had to figure out how to deal with it without taking those heinous pills. The main way I would be able to get reading done was to either tire myself out with long jogs or pace around while reading. The latter had me walking on neighborhood sidewalks while reading at times. The methods were successful for the most part. I’m pretty I read around 10–12 books before I graduated high school. Most of those reading were for leisure and not attached to an assignment. Unfortunately, this did not last.
After high school, I have failed to finish every book I had started for pleasure. Getting good grades on assignments was a way bigger deal now and that increased my stress immensely. Procrastination became my best friend and used it repeatedly to give a boost of “adrenaline” to make myself start studying and read books to write reports. In my freshman year of college, 2 years ago, I was pacing back and forth in a nearly empty library trying to finish Annihilation for a writing assignment. With the added stress of me doing well on these reading assignments, it made me apprehensive to read leisurely anymore. I was questioning myself about if having to manage my body while reading was worth it in the end. This was not a problem of not having enough time, I was just weary of basically having to take a plane just to go to the next town over. I had to prepare myself mentally and physically just to be able to focus. No motivation was left for me to read casually anymore. If the subject matter wasn’t a quick blurb on Twitter, I wasn’t reading it. If it was pressing breaking news articles, I was strictly reading to get the gist of it.
I thought my attempts of reading was done for good when I took up playing video games again in late 2018. My newly purchased Nintendo Switch was the first console I owned since the Xbox 360 in 2012. I stopped playing video games since 2014. This innovative system became the new distractor for all of my responsibilities. I fell in love with visual and audio storytelling. Being able to control the protagonists and play through the stories how I wanted to fascinated me, but more importantly, it keeps my attention. There was no need to pace around while I was playing to listen to the dialogue. I began to believe that maybe this is the most appropriate way I can digest content; maybe it was the only way I could properly digest content with no issue. It felt better than attempting to comprehend words on a beige page.
Finally, a couple of months ago, I found myself in quarantine, accumulating unemployment, and plenty of free time. Lately, many of my favorite twitch streamers took on a game titled Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy. It’s a collection of the first three main games of a beloved visual novel series. I saw how much fun the streamers were having reading and interacting with the game. I decided to experience the tale of the famed Phoenix Wright myself.
The game dove me into a wacky world full of dedicated spirit mediums, an aloof detective, and charming prosecutors. Usually, visual novels are subtle in there animation leaving characterization mostly dependent on static images. PWAA does an outstanding job establishing the personality of each and every character in a small number of sprites. Though, the game makes it extremely clear that the dialogue is the key factor in the gameplay. You have to attentively read what the characters have to say to acquire the necessary information about the murder cases you are assigned to. In doing so, you will have little issue proving your client “not guilty.”
I approached this game like I would any title. I didn’t prepare by doing a ridiculous 2-mile jog or pace around looking at the tv screen. I simply sat on my couch, relaxed, and played the game. I had no issue reading every word because I was aware of how much of the dialogue was integral to the gameplay, but I also read thoroughly because I enjoyed the characters. This was an element that helped me read various novels. A story without interesting characters will always fail to be interesting. It took a while to realize this is the first time I performed long-form recreational fiction reading in a long time. It was an elation that I never knew I missed so dearly. I truly thought I was finished absorbing content in this through long-form reading. The content was what I was enjoying. None of it felt like a chore.
I had a revelation. I already knew that my fictional reading was attached to a grade. That means it was attached to a “reward.” The reward of reading the dialogue in Ace Attorney is being able to catch who truly committed the crime. A bulk of the words are to be read with a PURPOSE. When I read novels, the only goal I ever had in mine is finishing it. When I played Ace Attorney, there were times where I did not want it to end. I started the game for the experience not to solely finish it. I realized completion was the only thing that inspired me to read books for the last few years. I read synopsizes just to see if the plot was interesting enough to get through the book. I always desired to be an avid reader, but never realized the meticulousness it takes to read ever chapter comprehensively. Being able to read fiction novels comprehensively should be the main allure. I often felt unfulfilled after reading. Digesting a story means nothing if the reader has failed to fully interpret and understand what was read. I never realized and understood any of this until a couple of weeks ago. Actually, I felt like I understood it on a basic level, but my life led me to believe weren’t burst of creativity, just task to be completed.
It seemed that I had trouble respecting stories for simply being they are. I thought it was just my ADHD that was the issue, but I fundamentally tackled literature the wrong way or at least a way that was not good for me personally. It brought me back to one word. PURPOSE. I read the professor assigned books for the purpose of a grade. I read the dialogue in Ace Attorney for the purpose of the gameplay. I should be reading novels because I call myself a writer. I should read with the purpose of studying the intricacies of the literature.
I concluded unmedicated ADHD was always managed in a healthy way that was meant for me. It just became a hassle. College helped conflict with how I digested literature and left me confused. Ace Attorney revealed how much college skewed my reading process and reminded me of the importance of reading with purpose. Having a purpose helped me deal with reading with ADHD. Reading to get better at writing is a reliable way to improve. That tactic should greatly improve my focus.
It was easier for me to focus on reading the Ace Attorney because I had goals to complete within the story. My ADHD was paired with this lack of purpose. I could not just monotonously read a story just to get the backside of the book. I should treat it as an artform — as all stories are.
